I once lived a cliche…

Recently, I was digging through my old-more-or-less-discarded photobucket account and I happened on to this:

What you see before you is documentation of a very real  ‘dog ate my homework’ scenario. This is the scene I was greeted with as I stumbled into my house (I think) my junior year of college. Our dog Napoleon (named after the diminutive RB for the Huskies, not the diminutive cheese eating, surrender monkey) decided that for too long the joke so old it gets into movies at half price needed a realistic grounding. Did I feel honored that I was chosen to share in this staging of a plot out of a wacky children’s book?

 

In short, no. Why, you may ask, under your breath so you don’t freak out people as the person talking to the monitor? Well, I’ll tell you. See those little blue scraps of paper? Yeah, well, that was my [yosemite sam] ragginfraggin math homework! [/yosemite sam] So no, I was not full of whimsy and lighthearted good naturedness. Do you see the other backpack right next to it? That is Grant’s and it is

UN-SCATHED.

For all I know, Napoleon could’ve wiped his down with a damp paper towel to get rid of the dirt that collects from grimy classroom floors. I mean, couldn’t he have feasted on both? The answer is sure, but the reality is he didn’t. To continue with the story, in my everlasting wisdom and smartassedness, I decided I was going to turn in my homework anyway. So that’s just what I did. I gathered every blue scrap left from the Canine Vs. Backpack Fracass of 2000something and I put into a ziploc baggie and brought it to class the next day. The teacher came around to collect, I tried to hand her the bag and she wouldn’t take it. I explained my situation. She chuckled and actually gave me the credit for the masticated homework! So in the end, it all worked out. Though I don’t know if I can say the same for Napoleon… Get it? In the end? Worked out? Yeah, me either.

 

Here’s me and the culprit kickin’ it, BEFORE the incident. He’s dead now. I killed him. With a knife. JUST KIDDING. He’s living happily in Utah with fond memories of my tasty, tasty math homework.